my take on things - comments about all the world and his brother
Published on November 9, 2009 By utemia In Current Events

The highest appeals court in Turkey has ruled that virginity is a prerequisite for marriage. A man had sued and wanted to nullify his marriage because his bride hadn't been a virgin... sheesh! Why doesn't the man have to be a virgin too? What about a widow that remarries? Turks (and arabs) and their sexist ideals about marriage and honour.. thank god I wasn't born there.


Comments
on Nov 09, 2009

I'm all for virginity and marriage for both the man and the woman.  I believe it's the best way to start a marriage but making a law is a bit much and shouldn't be the business of the government. 

on Nov 09, 2009

Exactly. It has to remain a personel choice and not dictated. A woman who is not a virgin has not lost her honour and is thus worth less as a person.

Young people falling in love and making love is both natural and beautiful.  Even in the old testament,  lovers meeting in a orchard, vinyard and waiting anxiously for the other, courting and then doing more than just holding hands..  is discribed in the song of songs. It could be interpreted as an allegory, but I like the literal meaning. Pure love is never bad, even without marriage. It is only men who think that virginity is reserved for them to break. ugh

on Nov 09, 2009

but I like the literal meaning. Pure love is never bad, even without marriage. 

Oh I take it as quite literal but it's not about sex outside of marriage.  The snapshots in the book Song of Solomon portray the joys of love in courtship and marriage.  The rightful place of physical love within marriage only is clearly established and honored.   Here the King comes in disguise to her family's vineyard, wins her heart and ultimately makes her his bride. 

Love is never bad in any form.  There's a diff between love and sex.   Sex outside of marriage is not the optium and not what God wishes for us. 

 

on Nov 09, 2009

I don't disagree with you at all. But there is a huge difference between "not the optimum and not what God wishes for us" and casting someone out of society, and that difference isn't made in turkey and that's just wrong. The man just wanted a virgin as if that alone defines a woman and that is what makes me angry.

 

on Nov 09, 2009

A woman who is not a virgin has not lost her honour

If you've ever seen some of the "Girls Gone Wild" DVD teaser commercials, you might think differently (I suppose the same could be said for men's behavior too)

Plenty out there doing it just because they can. I believe the term is "practice girl" (sorry doesn't appear to be a negative stigma for men). Whatever gives you happiness within the confines of existing law. Agreed, no govt. involvement.