How to leave a soldier - or destroy him

Published on February 14, 2010 By utemia In Marriage

I read about this story in a different blog here.

To summarize, a woman named Courteney Cook rationalizes why she left her military husband while he was away in Iraq, for an anti-war "blue-eyed Marxist". She also describes how she met other men, and actually goes through agonizing contortions to rationalize her behavior. It's both disgusting and painful to watch. She also gives her advice for others on how to leave your husband while he's away at war

I know that a few users have a military background. How often does this sort of thing happen, really? I don't know if I could marry a soldier but it is really low to do what this woman did.

Comments

Big Fat Daddy

on Feb 16, 2010

Unfortunately, it is more common than you might think. It is low. Thanks for being shocked.

utemia

on Feb 16, 2010

I don't know if you read the link - there were portions of the OP posted there. What I found cowardly was that Ms Cook thought it was a brilliant idea to do it when her husband wasn't around - no confrontation and arguing involved. I mean if you are married and the marriage didn't work anymore I would think that the least you can do is saying it face to face like adults.

You'd be surprised how easy it is to leave a soldier on deployment. You can do it with a letter. (He can't argue with you. He doesn't have a phone.) If you lay the groundwork early, saying to the soldier before he leaves, "This will be the end of us, we might as well admit it," it's that much easier. The letter won't even come as a shock.

And if you have children with that soldier? You can handle all that with a letter, too. He'll write it -- because he cares about the kids, because he wants to work with you to do what's best for them even though you're leaving him -- and you'll give it to them. Here again, you will avoid a nasty confrontation. Who will they cry to? You? You're just the teary-eyed bearer of the letter. Him? The one who's sweating it out in the desert?

There will be no moving truck, no boxes, no house torn asunder. The soldier is peeing in a bucket as you pack. He doesn't care who gets the couch.

This woman is just unbelievable. I of course have no personal knowledge of what it is like to be married to a soldier that goes off to war and potential death, but she is completely immature and should have never married in the first place.

Big Fat Daddy

on Feb 16, 2010

couldn't agree more.

Tova7

on Feb 23, 2010

There is usually something wrong with the marriage before the deployment.

Lots of soldiers use deployments (by volunteering) as an excuse to escape instead of staying home and dealing with marriage/kids. Then they tell their spouses but the military is making me go! And there are plenty, numerous, affairs that go on between soldiers while deployed. I've seen that with my own eyes.

Not that it excuses this woman's behavior. But in my experience (and we've seen this a lot in our 24 years in the AF) there is almost always more to the story.

Sometimes the spouse says nothing, when the soldier comes home, there's no one at the airport to meet him, and when he gets to his house, its empty. Usually the leaving spouses uses the "I didn't want him to be upset and get killed because of it" excuse....and sometimes the soldier comes home and announces...oops, got a baby on the way from my time at war.

Dr Guy

on Feb 23, 2010

BFD is right, but this one seems to have a sadistic streak. I would hope that is not typical of the ones that do this.

Nitro Cruiser

on Mar 22, 2010

Seems her son knows the real deal and twisted the blade into her a little. Hope she enjoys life with her Marxist, since she felt the need to add this information to spit on her former husbands service.

hollywould

on Jul 26, 2010

I don't know. I read the entire post by this woman and the except chose here does paint the woman in a very different picture than when one reads the entire blog.

The marriage was obviously troubled beyond anything they could work out or were willing to work out. They had grown apart and being a military wife was obviously something she could not handle and was not prepared for.

Breaking up is never easy, nice or clean no matter who it is with.

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